Thursday, March 4, 2010

What... what happened? why are you sulking???
.......................

..................................

ok... no problem... keep sulking... why should I care for someone who prefers no communication??

IT IS ITCHING ALL OVER... I AM IN TROUBLE FROM MORNING..............SEE ANTS ALL OVER ME..........

really??? they are harmless black ants... so, you should sulk.... ok... gimme two minutes... I will clear them...

I FEEL OK NOW... I THOUGHT YOU ARE A BETTER ONE... SORRY, YOU DISAPPOINTED ME....

can you stop shouting now, so that, we can talk - instead of fighting....

Ok... i will not shout sorry... I was almost dead for one year after I was created as noone came to see me, touch me or feel me. Then one day you came and did something early morning and I got life back... blood flowing all over, my nerves got activated and my brain cells are very active...

fine... so, you must be happy with me and I assumed that you are happy.... then why did you sulk today?

yes.... I put up with your poking me here and there, though it was painful, just after recovering from my almost death-stage. I wanted to be thankful to you for giving me fresh lease of life and I showed only happy face to you all these 15 days inspite of your pokes and hits now and then....

oh ohhhhhh... I am truly sorry... see, you know that I had to do it...thanks for the understanding... I appreciate it... even I did not like poking and hitting you... but, what to do?

that is what I also understood and that lead me into trusting you toally for my welfare... may be that is what made me sulk today, as nobody wants to be let down by a trusted friend.....

hey... heyyyyyyy... are you not taking things too far.... ok....ok... I do not want you sulking again... I understand what you mean... by the way, you may have to undergo little more hits and pokes this Saturday, as I have to make you more friendly to ME!!

hmmm.... then it is a deal that we will make! I agree for the pokes, provided you see to it that these silly ants do not trouble me even for 5 minutes.

no problem... I promise.. actually, you are very good, though inhuman - see, I did not call you lifeless - I just called you inhuman - dont take it as an insult - in fact, it is a compliment, as I find that some humans are more lifeless than you.

ok ok... I want to tell you something else now, as you seem to be in talking mood now....

go ahead...

you made me listen to those horrible sounds one whole night with that thing on my front.... I did not like it at all... I wish you fill me with better sound, vibration... and may be your own voice... I know you are a good person, so your voice is good tonic for me :-)

you mean... that sound that night... I was mistaken... I thought I will have some human voice around me which will help me in some way... but I understood next day morning that I was not correct... did you notice, that I stopped now..... ok... what I can do is, get something good which will sooth us....hey... you have good taste, I should admit...

you bet I have... otherwise, how do you think I allowed you to become my friend????

(mumbling).... I thought I own you... looks like you own me..............




PS : That was conversation between me and my little home that happened yesterday night!









Teachers






Thatha, Avva, Devaki Teacher, Indra teacher, Nagalakshmi teacher, Rukmini teacher, Muthu Krishnan Sir, Srinivasan Sir, Mari Teacher - my teachers in Ramakrishna School, Sivaganga, Tamil Nadu.

How can I call my grand parents as my teachers? Why not? I was with my parents only till the age of 3 from birth. Then I was sent along with my elder sister to my grand parents home at Sivaganga.


Let me give a brief profile of each one of my teachers.

Thatha ....

My grand father was the founder, patron and President of Ramakrishna School. He was a great admirer of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Vivekananda and Sharada Devi. He used to close his eyes and say "now I am in Dakshineswar - I am with Ramakrishna - worshipping Kali - worshipping Him " - though he lived 96 years, he never went physically to Kolkatta. He would do manaseeka darsanam of people and deities that he wanted to visit. There was a lesson in it for all of us. One can aspire but never despair - find fulfillment in simpler ways in stead of sweating over things which are beyond financial and physical reach! The farthest he travelled was to Mumbai. But his real world crossed all oceans, forests and mountains. He was a master of geography, history, philosophy, English and Sanskrit. He liked Tamil to a limited extent only. His appreciation of Tamil would be limited to Alwar Pasuram and Thirupavai only.

He had a disciplined life-style, but with a little weakness for Thayirvadai! His day would start around 5 am - he will be sitting on his cot with the mosquitoe net covering him on all four sides - he would start calling each one of us - his 5 grand children who lived with him under his roof - one by one - starting with my name - as I used to respond immediately, without any delay! We would brush - do not imagine tooth brush and paste - brushing means cleaning the mouth with Karippodi ( powder made at home using paddy husk with some medicinal herbs and salt -roasted and powdered to a fine state, which looks black and hence the name "Karu/i podi") using our index finger as the brush. A quick wash of the face with plain water would make us feel fresh. We would assemble near his cot. He will say one line of a shlokam which we would repeat twice. This would go on for at least 30 minutes. The shlokam for each day would be something that is connected to the God of the day. For example, on Monday it will be all on Lord Shiva. On Wednesday, it is Krishna, Thursday would be Dakshinamoorthy and Friday will have all Devi Shlokams. The routine will have some sort of mix and match - adding Geeta chapters during summer vacations.

We would see him doing his Sandhya Vandanam in the morning around 6.30 am. He will go with a small basket to our garden and collect Mayil Kondrai flowers. This flower blooms in the bush which does not require too much water. One single bush / plant used to give a good quantity of flowers every day. The image of the flower is at the top of this post ( donot know how to put it next to this :-(

He would do abhishekam to the Santhana Lingam - which is passed on to him from his father - who received it from his father - reciting Rudram, Namaka, Chamakam etc. - One big vessel of Mahanaivedyam (cooked rice) will be offered as Naivedyam, ending the pooja with Deepa Aradhana. Abhisheka water would be sprinkled on us and we would think that we will study well if that water falls on our head. All we knew then was that we should study well - how, why, what for - no thoughts like that - study well - that is it! Be all and end all of our goal would be studying well. Retrospectively I feel that it was not a bad idea - after all, what anyone can get without studies that too, in a middle class family? Yes, our studies liberated all of us - Study did not necessarily mean school studies - we will find all sorts of books all over our house -it is up to us to pick anything and read. I remember reading a book called Black Tulips by Alexander Dumas - it had been a non-detailed prose for study as part of undergraduate syllabus for my aunt in Rajah's College. She had done her bachelors in Mathematics. This book attracted my attention from the huge collection of books the house held in its various rooms. I do not know whether it was the size of the book or the title attracted me. I remember reading and rereading it till I had tears in my eyes for Cornelius! As I was in a Tamil Medium school, having English as one of the subjects and not as medium of study, I had to spend a good number of days reading it page by page. But I did complete it and found it interesting and absorbing - I read it fully though I never understood every word of it. That was the atmosphere he created for us children - to be enthusiastic about reading.

I think we learnt some basic Mathematics and some Tamil and very little English from I to V standard. Some bit of Science - like how rain comes, thunder, lightning etc. - something on plants, Sun, Moon etc. Tamil was taught through stories and poems. I am yet to see another grandfather giving dictation to make his grandchildren learn English. Nothing was "for the exam"or "for the syllabus "or "for the school portion". He will just think of some words and make us write. I could never spell LEAVES correctly. Every day I will write it as LEAFS. He will not give the correct spelling, but make me find out for myself and correct it in my own time. He was a great teacher with lots of patience - his method was to make us curious and involved. He will just show the direction and it is up to us to pick up!

We had a small patch of garden where his room was in the middle of it. One look from his window will make him understand that the garden needs attention. He will announce a scheme! Verudan Aimbadhu!! Bring 50 weeds with their roots in tact for a reward of one full mithai - the sweet lemon/orange hard candy! More 50s would get us more candies... I will go feverishly plucking / pulling the weeds with all my strength ( I was just 7 / 8 or maximum 10 then) to earn those candies. Some cousins would leave at 10 or 20 and say "what is there in that silly candy? I do not care for it"and run away... I will not give up. It was tough - pulling the weed from the ground with its roots in tact ( that is the sure way to remove it permenently) from the dry parched ground - yes, hardwork is hard while performing, but the result is always sweet! Yes, Thatha, I have learnt this lesson from you - how do you think I was successful as a Bank officer, as an entrepreneur managing 100 people under me? Without your lesson on Verudan Ayimbadhu, I might have given up on hard work and not had strength to fight it out wherever necessary! Thank you! The lemon and orange candies are sweeter even now! I can feel it in my tongue even now! Thank you Thatha! I am lucky to have you in my life, at the right age, as my grand father. You are my first Guru!

He made me read Ramakrishna's sayings again and again - in the guise of reading for HIM - not for me - I did not know it then - I thought I am reading it for him, as he wants to read them, but has poor eye-sight! I know now that he knew all that by heart and he made me read them for my own sake!

He walked with me to temple every evening narrating his experience as Secretary of the Co-operative Fund that they were running in our little town! He told me how power corrupts! He used to quote Telugu Padhyalu to teach morals! He used to write pages and pages every day. He has hand-written all shlokas, padhyam, life-history of Sankaracharya - such things - so many times - for each one of his children and grandchildren. He will paste small little pictures at the end of each shloka - he will use cooked rice as gum! I have seen him write (without using spectacles) till the age of 75 + He used to read till the age of 85+ He spoke to me till he turned 90+... I moved away to Secunderabad as Trainee officer with Syndicate Bank when I was 22 and he was 90+... the last sentence that he spoke to me was "wish you all success".... I will succeed in my endeavours with your blessings Thatha! Your last sentence is a reminder for me never to give up... to keep going........


Avva....












Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Summer colours





That is the view from the balcony of my home early morning at 6.30 just after I get up. Yellow and orange flowers - all bright and beautiful - they seem to be mocking at the concrete grey of the buildings. I tried my best to capture the nature alone from my balcony itself - but the grey will not leave my lens!

On the road to my office, these yellow flowers keep following me. Reminds me my school days in hot dry Sivaganga. We used to have our annual examination in the month of March - sitting and sweating under these yellow flowered trees. I think many of us did not own pair of slippers - hence had to walk it up to school, avoiding the tar-road and keeping the tender feet on the muddy part of the road!

Once in school, even with exams starting in next 30 or 15 minutes or so, we used to collect these yellow flowers and make patterns right under the tree. The hot breeze that blows once in a while would wait for us to complete a complicated design and blow the flowers off. that was fun and frustrating... so we decided to sit around the flower covering the "outside " with our half / long skirts and continue the design. Fun days! Girls who would get a nice big zero in the exam, would come up with beautiful geometric patterns with flowers. No teacher noticed these designs nor encouraged us to think further.... it was all fun and fun only. Lots of creativity... like a mountain or forest river running wildly...towards ??? just for the joy of running !!!

The organge flowers tree used to give a kind of big fruit which had a huge nut inside. The petals taste little sour and we figured out that if we pluck the flower when it is really very young and eat the petal, it tastes very good. So our hunt used to be on for these tender ones. The discarded ones ( for being tasteless) used to land up in the flower-kolam.

There was a rich girl ( the only one who used to come by car to school) in our small place - she had an amazing talent to draw huge figurines on the soil with her toe. She had to generally wait for her driver to pick her up in the evenings - all others would have just walked ( literally ran away) from school, whereas this one used to stand drawing girl / boy / man / woman figures with her toe on the mud. I kind of used to feel shy to talk to her ( I think her richness was the block for me) but watch her toes drawing figures. She used to be really good. She never had interest with the flowers or colours. Her canvas was the mud in front of classrooms and her brush was her toe!

Come Inspection day or Independance day ( I remember how heated arguments were there for the correct spelling of independance - we did not have dictionary and internet was not even conceived then ) or Republic day or Teachers'day... The whole class used to be formed into multiple groups with the class leader ( most of the years I was the class leader, which in retrospective sounds very unfair to myself also ) allocating work to each group. Think of it now, there used to be no rebellion - each team would just do what was told - absolute obedience!

So, sweeping, wiping the floor and the black-board, windows and all sundry place in the class-room is job for one team. The real bonus for this team is the chance to write on the blackboard - the welcome message or wishes on the occasion etc. They will bring colour chock-pieces and make it very colourful. We used to think - more colour - more artistic - more happiness!!

Bringing drinking water in the earthern pot and stocking enough water for the whole class and distributing it in small tumblers in an orderly way without wasting the water is the job for the second team. Bonus for this team is the chance to drink additional glasses of water ( that too, out of turn - which no body can object, if it is done by the member of this team)!

Third and fourth team will prepare song and dance or a skit depending on the occasion. We used to really write songs - meaning, compose the music based on some latest filmy tune - but the lyrics used to be totally original lyrics written by a group of us - joint venture - in Tamil. I regret not having copy of all those beautiful songs that we wrote !! We never understood the value of the artistic work we were doing. We did things for the sheer joy of doing.

The dance steps would be choreographed by ourselves and the practice session will go on for a week - there used to be some small misunderstandings, arguments on the particular step or on the way of dancing ( like, how to move the neck or waist or some other part of the body!!)... but everything gets settled soon and there is so much joy in getting ready for the D day. The question of make-up and dress used to be a daunting one for all of us. Basically, all of us were from very middle class families and hence had hardly 3 or 4 sets of clothes. Still we used to figure out how to make each dance or a skit with the perfect costume! So, we used to choose only social theme - as the costume would be simple dhoti and shirt or a saree and blouse - in case we agree on some mythological or King/Queen skit, we used to make the swords, waist-belt, crown, armlets, anklets etc. - all with cardboard and paste them with shiny paper that we had collected through out the year from cigarette packets.

I remember the huge collection of cigarette packets we all collectively held as our precious treasure - we had come up with a lot of in-door games using them. The smell of tobacco used to be intoxicating. We will pretend that we donot like it - but we used to take the empty packet to the nose and enjoy a good round of breathing-in to take the smell in !!

If you are thinking that our class was unique this way - no - you should know that each and every class had similar style of functioning. So when the dance / skit / song session is put up to the chief guest - there will always be a healthy competition to see which one is really good. The good dancers, good singers, good script writers, good lyricists used to be noticed by the teachers and they will utilise their services for the annual programme.

My elder sister used to be a great story-script-writer and a good director, though she will never act herself. She will command from her seat and everyone else will simply obey her. My cousin is a good dancer, actor, singer. Another distant cousin was again a good actor. So these two used to be always paired as man and woman.

The madisars, pancha kachcham, regular saree, mythological looking saree, bharatnatyam costume - everything used to be "managed"by the set of these 3 girls using simple dhotis and sarees. Nothing was difficult for them. The person wearing it should be ready for few pin-pricks while on stage, that too while doing a particularly difficult lifting of a leg or an arm.... otherwise, the show used to go on with the pin-pricks, and nobody would ever know that the dancer is undergoing some 5 pricks for every movement......even blouses - for any size, used to come from the same source and the wearer has to manage wearing it and look appropriate!! Fun days... there was not a single paise spent on anything... only hours and hours of work and jokes and laughter.........

OK, coming back to those yellow flowers, yes, you brought back memory of Government Girls High School, Sivaganga. Fun filled days!

I hope I get to meet Vasantha, Subhadra, Meera, Lalitha M and Lalitha S, Ramani and all the other 25 to 30 girls in my batch! I miss you guys!!
















Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Thoughts

I was talking to my school-mate and she wondered whether I feel lonely now, living away from family. That triggered the thoughts in my mind. I found that I am actually happy being alone.

Then I thought of the days when I was with my complete family of all possible in-laws, including grand-mother-in-law!

I know I was not at least unhappy, though I was not so happy - as lots of physical work with good amount of financial stress was always there. But I had my good time and really liked being with everyone. So, I was happy then.

Again, as a child, I was in a big family with all uncles, aunts, cousins, grand parents and meeting own parents only once in a while. I was happy then also.

That sets me thinking. Is it that I make myself happy in all circumstances? I find a lot of girls, young women complaining on being alone, on being with in-laws, on being with just husband, on being with husband and children. They complain on anything and everything.

Saw this young mother who insisted that I visit her house to see her kitchen interior. I went with great expectation - it was in total mess. She had just her one (!) husband and one kid to take care and she had to do no outdoor work at all. She is 100% at home and the house is in such disarray - she went on complaining on and on and on about being alone. When she is alone, if this is the state of her house, what it will be when she has 3 or 4 in-laws staying with her?

I think young women just get married thinking of all the fun that they can have and never realise the work that comes with marriage. Even small little things like keeping a neat nice house, cooking, cleaning, planning food and grocery etc... everything is fun and enjoyable if one has the right attitude.

Thank God, I am a happy person! I enjoy being with people, being alone, doing work and not doing work also. Any situation is alright for me. Nothing really poses a difficulty for me. I realise that I am a very flexible person.

So my friends and family think that I never had any problem in my life so far - may be it is true. I do not know what a problem is - as I am always moving towards solutions and happiness!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Art Artist and the human nature







An evening of wonderful music! Selection of great ragas ( all ragas are great - but some are greater), great songs and set to a beautiful pattern accompanied by good mridangam and violin - 2 hours of bliss is what I experienced while listening to this lady.

Session started with Vinayaka Ninnu vina brochudaku verevarunnaru Vigna Rajaaaa - meaning, who else is there to save me other than you, set to Kambhoji raga.

Followed by a Thyagaraja Kriti which means that when one worships the Supreme through music, there is nothing else that is needed to be a realised soul!

The next song was one where Thyagaraja mockingly asks Rama "how many times I should tell you that you are my only refuge?"

The next one says that this is the right time to come and save me - hence do not delay...

This sort of sequencing the songs shows the artistic imagination of the singer other than her musical talent. One needs to enjoy the lyrics, the literary part of it, the poetic part of the composition to get a complete experience of the composer as he composed a particular song.

The next song was a pleading to Seethamma - Mother is the one who listens to children faster - so it is better the request is put to Her, rather than to Him! - Nannu brovamani cheppavey - Seethamma Thalli - you can take some liberty with Her - commanding Her using words like CheppaVEY... the poet may not be so sure talking to Rama using CheppuRA.... that shows the depth of love, the freedom one can take with a loved one when the relationship is on strong footing and there can not be any misunderstanding..

The next song was on Balaji - Annamayya's Nallani Meni Nagavu Choopulavadu.. - how this guy also takes so much liberty with Balaji - calling Him Vadu??? That could be deep bakthi!

A brisk thillana on Mahishasura mardhini followed and the singer completed the programme - she never sings mangalam it seems as she does not want to ënd" her singing!!

Those 2 hours, the singer was transcending herself and the audience to another world with her music.

Ten minutes after the programme she is back to the real world, with all the complaints, grievance, problems, lamenting etc. etc. on her misfortune of not being a very famous one - a recognised one - a number one - a "busy"one with programmes, studios, recordings etc. etc.

I was thinking that how can she be so regretful when God has blessed her with so much music, so much talent, so much kalpana sakthi, and the health to keep singing even at this age of 65.

Is that supposed to be "human" nature - wanting the one that is not there and forgetting the blessing that is already received?

For every want/desire/wish of every person, there is a justification. This justification makes one blind to the boon/grace already received.

That includes me too!

Friday, February 12, 2010

MD Ramanathan and Prince Rama Varma

I happened to read

http://ramavarma.yolasite.com/vishwa-palam-shri-padmanabham.php

and read all the articles of Rama Varma. Started listening to MDR and I just cannot have enough of MDR's voice!

I remember my father being a great fan of MD Ramanathan and my mother making fun of it saying that only hard core music lovers like my father can enjoy MDR (as though it is a mistake :-)

I enjoy good music and know no techniques of it. Still, I find myself enjoying the music of MD Ramanathan so much.

Looks like, I am going to listen to all that is there in youtube connected to MD Ramanathan.

So, Thanks Prince Rama Varma!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hanuman

Prema Pandurang - the lip-stick wearing Harikatha exponent - English professor from Chennai - founder of Kshetropasana - giving a 5 lecture series on Hanuman in Hyderabad from 27th to 31st Jan.2010.

First day lecture :

Sangeeta Reddy - Director of Apollo Hospitals was the Chief Guest introducing the speaker.

She said Hanumanji is the Prana that connects Jeevatma with Paramatma - Sita to Rama - bridging the body to the soul. How Hanuman is made to be the son of Vayu - showing that Pranavayu is the one that connects soul to body...

Prema Pandurang - kept singing and getting emotional - I was wondering whether she was dramatising or really getting emotional talking about Rama - some part looked like drama ( where you understand that the person is just acting and not really doing whatever she is doing).

She spoke about the 16 characteristic features of Rama, the God who came as a human being.

Sangeeta Reddy's speech was much better than the main speaker was the impression I got!

Second day:

Finally she manages to start the story of Ramayana and comes upto Kishkinda Kandam, paving way for Hanumanji's entry in to the lecture series.

Points that I liked:

Hanuman is ready to scold his master Sugreeva on hearing that Sugreeva thinks of Rama and Lakshmana as spies of Vali. He did not stop criticising his boss when the boss's poor imagination and fear got revealed.

Hanuman goes as a Sanyasin to meet the Ayodhya brothers, as he feels that they are good but wants to be cautious. As people do not lie to Sanyasins, Hanuman goes as a Sanyasi to them so that he can get the correct information back to his boss after the meeting. But Rama realises that a sanyasin cannot be wandering in Rishyamukha parvata and doubts the costume...

Hanuman's humble introduction of his boss and himself is highly appreciated by Rama. Sita has never been openly appreciated by Rama in whole of Ramayana, but Rama verbally appreciates Hanuman by way of talking to Lakshmana.

Rama follows the protocol of not addressing Hanuman directly, but gives his approval of Hanuman by way of talking to Lakshmana on Hanuman's speech.

This part has to be read and re-read by all those who want to be good speakers, ambassadors, public relations persons. A big kudos to Valmiki for such wonderful thoughts.

Hanuman's humility is infecting the anger-prone Lakshmana also and he talks sweet words to Hanuman.

Hanuman makes the friendship between Vanaras and Prince possible by taking the Ayodhya brothers on his shoulders to Sugreeva - and the friendship is confirmed by way of lighting of Agni and going round that - like how it is done in a marriage - Hanuman starts his Uniting business with Ram,Lakshman and Sugreeva.

I am humbled... I was not one of the appreciative audience till then. Now I understand her knowledge in Ramayana, Sanskrit and English. I am still wondering whether she is really getting emotional or she is pretending. Out of 2 hours time for the lecture, nearly 30 minutes is spent ( 1/4th) on rituals like Arti, Pooja etc. and the real lecture time gets reduced to roughly 30 minutes as the balance 90 minutes are also spent on various bhajans - all composed by her - very sad that not a single Telugu Bhajan or Keerthanam from Thyagarja or Annamayya when she is lecturing in Hyderabad - the capital of Andhra Pradesh ( till date). I feel that speakers should be sensitive to audience!

She spent good time explaining the good fortune of Jatayu for having Rama to cremate him, which was not granted even to Dasaratha, his own father. Sampati's grief on hearing Jatayu's death and his performing a snanam ( bath) in the ocean for his brother and offering of water with his beak for Jatayu - very eloquently and in an emotion-charged voice all these scenes were depicted by Prema Pandurang.

Third day lecture:

Today Sundara Kandam started. I am waiting to hear the part where Hanuman's starting his leap to Lanka is described by Valmiki. I remember it going very scientific and logical - the size of Hanuman, the force with which he kicks the mountain to take the leap and the effect of it on the mountain ( mahendra giri) and on the living creatures hidden in the Mahendra parvatam. Lo... nothing of that was talked about. She went straight to Mainakam, sagara, the rakshasi catching Hanuman's shadow etc. etc.

What I liked was the way she described the obstacles as Satvic ( mainakam), rajasik (Simhika) and Tamasic ( Surasa). That is an intelligent way of analysing the obstacles in the path of the Guru who is uniting Jeevatma with Paramatma. I liked it!

Hanuman is in Lanka now and he gives one blow to Lanka Rakshasi and goes ahead. I remember our grand mother calling us Lanka Rakshasi when we used to walk or talk in an unfeminine way! Fun to be a Lanka Rakshasi!!

Ravana's soundaryam, his pushpaka vimanam, Mandori - she explained well.

The great Hanuman gets into depression as he is not able to locate Sita. How even Hanuman goes on having negative thoughts - what if he does not spot her - he will not go back - Angadha would die as Hanuman does not return - then Sugreeva would die - then Rama and Lakshmana would die - then Bharatha and Shatrughan would die - then all the queen mothers would die - the vanaras would die - the people of Ayodhya would die - He goes on like this and then stops himself from further (deathly) thoughts by reciting the famous Namostu Ramaya shloka. He offers his pranams to Rama, Sita, Lakshmana, and all Gods guarding the Universe and lo - he spots Asoka Vatika with all the beautiful trees, flowers etc.

There he spots one lonely lady sitting and he knows instinctively that it has to be Sita mata. The courage of Sita in taking all the loneliness, the depressing atmosphere was described so well. I always have this soft corner for Rama and Hanuman and never spent much time thinking of Sita... She was someone who suffers and I do not like suffering - hence never thought about her so much. Now I realised, how foolish of me not to give her the due credit. Yes, it requires a lot of boldness, bravery to stand the miseries in life and be there to fight it in the right way - not hurting anyone - but saving oneself. The word BRAVE used by Prema Pandurang on Sita made me think - thanks to Prema Pandurang for kindling this thought in me!

Now, I got a thought like a flash - I do not know whether anyone else has thought in these lines - let me put it down now... what follows is totally my thought - nothing from Prema Pandurang's lecture :-)After hearing to Hanuman's humility, how can I say that I got this idea?? Mother Sita must have put this thought into me today....

As Sita is the Universal mother and as she knew that Vishnu has come as Rama to kill Ravana and establish Dharma, may be Mother Sita thought that she should try her best to stop killing of Ravana and give him sadbuddhi and at the same time help restore Dharma. A mother is always merciful ( than the father); even if the child is misbehaving, she tries and goes on trying to correct the erring child with good words and gives all possible opportunity for the child to come back to good path.

Hence, may be Sita ordained herself to be taken away to Lanka even before Rama could come there. Otherwise, Rama could have come up with other ways of annihilating Ravana and bringing Dharma back to earth. I felt that Sita planned it this way - she took the trouble of going to Ravana's place and underwent all the trouble and went on preaching Ravana the right Dharma or the way to be. Otherwise, when Kakasura's simple act was punished by her through Rama, why will she even allow herself to be abducted by Ravana. I am sure it is Her WISH to go to Lanka and talk to Ravana and help him avoid death and misfortune.

Even in the last scene where he comes to threaten her with death in the next 2 months if she does not concede, she puts a blade of grass in between herself and Ravana and tells him - look at your beautiful queens the way you look at me - she tells him that he cannot think of her in the way he is thinking of her, as she is the mother.

I felt that, Sita, the mother wanted to protect Ravana - her child - from Rama's arrows and tries her best to put him back to his original goodness. Though he was arrogant, troublesome to Devas ( which made them go to Mahavishnu requesting Him to bring an end to Ravana's ways) he is a Chaturvedi, a great exponent of Veena, so strong that he could move Kailasha with his bare arms and a great devotee of Shiva. Hence Sita must have thought of helping him even at this juncture and conjured up a way to be in Lanka before Rama and talk to him in person.

When a child does something wrong and when the mother knows it, her first reaction would be to save the child from the wrath of the father, and then to correct the child in her own sweet way. I think 99% children respond and that is why God created a person called mother for everyone born in the earth.

When that is the rule for mortals like us, why Ravana has to be killed without giving him a chance must have crossed Mother Sita's mind. Hence she took the trouble of getting abducted by him - otherwise, I donot think she is foolish to want a golden deer and send away Lakshmana with harsh words. She risks being called foolish, riks being called as thoughtless with these acts and still takes the big leap of reaching Lanka with Ravana who needs correction. I call that as bravery. I salute you Sita. You are a true mother. Never mind the abuse you got by asking for a deer or scolding Lakshmana with harsh words or crossing that famed Lakshman-rekha - your goal was to reach Ravana before Rama and try to SAVE him by CORRECTING him through dialogue. A very big salute to you Sita. I think I understand you now much better at my age and as a mother myself. I want to give more respect and love to you than I reserve for Rama. Jai Sita and then Jai Sita Ram!