Saturday, March 12, 2011

Elementary Education

Earlier post had my notion of "not learning much " in elementary school. Let me put things straight by bringing up some facts.

Our Maths class right from II standard till V standard ( in fact all subjects) was held with one slate and a writing material called "kuchi " which used to come in multiple shapes and colours and of varied materials. We got the one which was easy to hold between our tiny fingers and had one colour - white. Our Maths teacher used to teach a concept and then give mental test to gauge our understanding, speed and neatness in execution. For example, an addition sum like 48 + 85 will be written on the board by the teacher. All of us do the calculation and write the answer in the slate and put up our hands once completed. Teacher will come to the ones whose hands are up and see the answer and mark a tick mark. We were hardly 20 to 25 students in a class and hence teacher knew each one of us by name and also our strengths and weakness. I think the teacher’s knowledge on each student extended to personal matters as well.

If it is a test / exam, even final exam, the answers are corrected then and there and the result marked in the bottom of the slate. As the test proceeds, there will be multiple 1 and 0 indicating the right and wrong answers. End of the session, she will come around totalling the 1s and give the result then and there on the slate. A 10 out of 10 would get a V.Good or a V.Good and V.Neat if the execution is neat; or V.Good with a rose drawn near that if the speed in completion was good. I do not know how she remembered – but her memory used to be always correct.

This made all of us get quick on mathematics – even now I add or subtract using Tamil numbers as that is the most comfortable and faster way to get the right answer for me.

By IV standard we could do 3 digit multiplication, division with decimals etc. We learnt all multiplication tables by heart. We learnt the decimal multiplication tables also by heart. Amongst the students we used to exchange the short-cuts to learn a new table and short-cuts to remember an answer.

Hence we got some real education. We learnt new skills every day! I am sure no parent "watched" what the child learnt. Parents were sure that teachers are doing their job well and teachers never expected parents to supplement the teaching at home!

We had so many lessons in each and every subject based on Great men and women of the world. I think that is something which made me think that I am supposed to become great one day. It never occurred to me that there were million more good people who did not enter the history books – I thought it is by default that a person born should become great. I was very sure that by being truthful, sincere and hardworking I can become great one day. So, I think I got some good education!

Besides all this, there used to be those dictation and reading sessions every day just after lunch time. Our pronounciations used to be corrected and spelling skills improved. We started using pencil and paper sometime in IV standard. Only from VI standard full-fledged use of note books, pencil and pen started. Fountain pens, which used to bring a lot of misery to me very often... I will write about it some other time!

We had some home work – like writing the tables 3 times or some difficult spelling 5 times etc. But the total homework could fit into the two sides of the slate. I think we had one teacher handling all subjects for a particular standard and hence she knew the total work that should be done at home. We never had to slog to complete homework or school work.

Morning and evening we had school assembly – we used to sing 12 songs – one per day per session on the country, our School, on Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, on Vivekananda and on other such spiritual leaders. A lot of songs of Subramanya Bharathiyar and Suddhananda Bharathiyar were taught. All of us used to sing and somehow the patriotic fervour got into us – with or without full understanding. We knew that we should love our country and we were very proud of our country though country was really till the borders of our little place only then!

All children participated in cleaning of the class and school. Flag was respected. Decorations meant beautiful rangoli on floors and flower arrangement using what is available free. Nothing was bought – everything was recycled. Every annual day saw us using recycled paper for our crowns, swords, and sometime even costumes.

We were set of poor children ( the whole school) with very rich imagination and absolutely wealthy ideas to be happy! Thanks to each and every teacher of the school and thanks to Ramakrishna Vidyalaya, Sivaganga !

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Life away from parents

Punishments - I got punished very many times by my aunt and grandfather. I know now that I richly deserved punishment for my mistake. The mistake was - I used to make fun of a girl who had cracks all over her legs - of course, I would not do it myself - I used to be part of a group of 4 ( led by my cousin who was very very bold) - we all used to make some one-liners on that poor girl and sing on her cracked legs. Sivaganga is a dry area - and there was nothing called moisturiser those days. A good oil bath every week was what kept our skin shining. That poor girl, our school watchman's daughter ( I can recollect her dark face even now looking at us with anger) had white visible cracks on her dark skin which used to be amusing for all of us. Complaint reached my home and we both - me and my cousin - were made to stand outside the house on our knees. I do not remember the number of hours we were on knees!

Our neighbours had two daughters who were our classmates. They also used to come and complain about me - they used to tell my grandfather - "thatha, gundu Uma etc. etc. "... my grandfather will not tell them that they should not call me by such names. He would ask me whether I said whatever that girl claims and I used to be very honest. I will admit sheepishly that I did say such nasty things. That is enough - my grandfather would make me go outside the house and kneel down. These neighbour girls would laugh and run out of our house and look at me from their house window and make faces.

My aunts tell me even now that my face used to turn apple red on such occasions - and they all enjoyed seeing me turn red like that!! What a life! What psychology!

With all such incidents also, our life was one peaceful stretch of eating, studying, fetching drinking water from Government tank, sleeping and playing silly games on the street.

My parents used to visit us once a year and I would be left wondering why all other children live with their parents, whereas only me and my sister are left to live with grandparents. I had no courage to ask this question to anyone though it was in my stomach, heart, throat and mouth every time my parents left our house after their ten days annual visit. It used to be some sort of tradition - my aunt would tell me "go with your mother this time" just when my mother is about to sit in the horse-cart; my mother would turn back and ask me "Uma, you want to come with me "....already, my younger sister and younger brothers would be sitting in the cart whereas me and my elder sister would be standing down - which apparently meant that we two are not to travel with them. So, I will say in choked voice, "no, I am not coming with you".... this will be followed by giggles from everyone and I will run inside the house.

Then we had this small quarrels amongst the four of us on who would get to sleep next to our grand-mother. It was a prized position. Actually I never used to like the smell of coffee coming from her mouth - but nevertheless, I had to be part of the fight to get the place next to her. Finally, it will be either my uncle's elder daughter or his son who would get that place. Rengam would put her leg on my grandmother and turn back at us and show that she is the winner. This used to be enacted almost every day with neither the winner nor the losers changing even a single time. I wonder why we ever fought for something which we knew that we had already lost!!

The almirah in the dark room - that is another thing which used to scare me. As I enter the room, my shadow used to be seen there dark and big ( I was fat, mind you) which used to be scary. I will come running out and my cousin Padma will hold my hand and take me in and tell me there is nothing to be scared of. I would rather hold her hand and go than attempt going alone to that room. Every trip to toilet had to be with her, as I was afraid of crossing the path to toilet which had 4 huge coconut trees. I was scared of the branches moving wildly in the wind!! Silly girl I was - why am I using past tense? I am silly now also, but not of such things.










Growing up for a village girl!

All girls who had gone through the stage between 8 and 13 would only understand what I am going to write.

There are changes in the body and it attracts everyone's attention to you - not in a pleasant way - but in a way that you feel you have done something terribly wrong. At least that is how I felt at that age, especially because my cousin who grew up along with me and of my age showed no signs of whatever was happening to me.

I think she felt proud of that fact and I felt ashamed of myself !!

Thousand odd dos and do nots are given to the child with no explanation. Do not run - do not walk in such a way that the floor shakes with your walking - do not talk back - do not answer when you are not questioned - do not ask anything - do not - do not - do not...........

Girls who used to be in class suddenly disappear for one week to one month. They come back with a golden necklace and Dhavani ( long skirt with half-saree)... all other girls used to gossip about her. I could not understand the topic of gossip for long, till I became the target of their gossip. I wonder why no girl bothered to share her "extra " knowledge with others... may be they did with other girls - not with me.

The girl who comes first in class is not loved by other girls - she hardly gets any friends. The second and third rank holders sit with you but they are made to envy you and are taught to consider you as their enemy!! How silly... but that was the world we lived in. I am absolutely sure that this happened in each and every class - right from 6th to 11th standard. Generally I had my cousin and Meera only for my friends ( supposed to be friends). They also would not tell me everything that they shared between themselves, because I honestly did not understand many things that they discussed, which made them get bored with me quickly. I was a straight-jacket with no frills or colouring.. actually, too simple and may be a lot stupid. Many things that those girls learnt by themselves did not even come to my attention. I was not seeing any of those things that others saw so easily.

I was Class Leader ( not because I was good in leading - but by default - the first rank-holder becomes the class leader in my school ) all throughout. This is not a pleasant task at all. You have to discipline others which puts you on the other side of fun and frolic. Neither classmates nor teachers consider you one amongst them - hence you are always alone.

I remember one incident very vividly. Our English teacher casually told me that I should teach a particular poem to a girl who just would not get even a single line of it correct. I took it very sincerely and made this girl learn that English poem by-heart ( palanquin-bearers by Sarojini Naidu).

She just could not get a single line correct and I would not leave her. I spent an entire evening with her making her repeat after me. Both of us did not realise that the school is getting empty and we two were the only ones left. Finally our watchman came and chased us out of the class-room. I got so scared and ran away - the other girl shouting at the top of her voice, saying that she is going to report to her parents that I harassed her. I literally urinated in my dress out of fear. Fear of that girl and her threat.

Think of it now, I was stupid to make her learn and make her sit with me for such long time. Why did the teachers assume that just because I could learn my lessons well and reproduce correctly in the test, I qualified to be a leader for the entire class? This girl, though was not good in studies, should have been made leader of the class. She knew that I had no right to make her study. She knew that she can easily threaten me; she knew that she had parents who would listen to her and take action against me. Why did the teachers not understand all this??

As leader of the class I had to say the Pledge "India is my country.... " on Mondays during assembly time and do a smart salute to the School Pupil Leader. I liked this saluting part so much that I used to be very alert and hence did the salute like a trained NCC cadet though NCC was not introduced in our school then. Even now I love watching Republic Day parade in Television - especially the Girl Cadets marching smartly!! While seeing that I imagine myself walking smartly like that. May be that smart march was a sign of boldness for me. I was a total coward; used to get scared very easily of anything, anybody of any incident. Out of fear, my actions would be always perfect - and as expected by elders - not out of conviction, but out of fear. Very very stupid and silly of me!!

I am a survivor - I survived all those fears - and I love my survivor status now! I am happy I did not give up out of fear! I crossed fear with action! I am bold actually for having won over fear with right action.








Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Childhood infatuations

Of course every child has to go through this, and we, village children cannot be exceptions!

My first infatuation was my IV standard teacher - Indira Teacher - she was tall; had long hair; spoke softly and our II standard teacher used to come to our class to talk to her. Later on I learnt that they both got married. I did not understand then what was happening between them. I liked this teacher a lot. I used to dream that one day I will also have long hair like her and walk like her carrying an umbrella and teach small children nice things - just the way she was doing it then for me. She used to be the permanent singer for all our dances in our school. Ours was one school which did not approve of cinema songs or recorded music for celebrations. Our teachers used to compose their own songs on various topics like nature, God, school, great people on different ragas. They will choreograph it and we were taught the song and dance. Some children would sing and others would dance.

I was fair in colour ( which is not normal in my area at least then) and was fat ( which again was abnormal) - hence I think I made a good " sight " on stage. Hence, I was always in the dance team. I think I danced well - or at least learnt faster than others - so I was always on the first row in the dance group. My cousin ( my opposite in looks) was always my partner. 99 out of 100 dances, I am the male dancer and my cousin the female!

Indira Teacher used to compose many songs and teach us. She used to compose songs on Ramakrishna Paramahamsa - using the raagam of the latest cine-song. So, children used to learn a more meaningful song but on the popular tune. How intelligent of her!

The next person whom I used to adore was ( is ) my aunt - Pinnamma - she again was a teacher. As I was in my grand parents' house right from the age of 3, I hardly remember my mother in my childhood memories. It is always my Pinnamma - who was unmarried then - and showed her love and affection to us. Hence, she was another person whom I adored and prayed that I should always live with her ( may be out of fear that her absence might expose me to some unknown dangers)... When the whole family was praying for her marriage, I used to silently pray to God that God should listen to me and not to them and keep her unmarried. My other aunts used to taunt me saying that my Pinnamma would leave me and go away with her husband when she gets married. This used to make me worried and scared. I remember the day she got married - I was in tears the whole day - I did not let anyone comb my hair - I think I behaved violent the first time that day not letting anyone touch me. Funnily, noone bothered also. They were all busy with the marriage proceedings and left me to my happy "open-hair" and angry crying state. But with all this anger and crying drama, I never left her. I am standing / sitting next to her - literally clinging to her in all the marriage photographs.

She really left me in Sivaganga and went away to Calcutta. I was clueless as to what I can do to stop this. She happily said her goodbye and went away! I survived! Yes, I enjoy my survivor status!


Education

What do I remember that I learnt in my elementary school or in high school?? Think of languages - Tamil and English, history, geography, maths, science??? Tamil medium school - Ramakrishna Vidyalaya, Sivaganga.

I remember all the fun and joy we got out of dancing and singing for every annual day, independence day, republic day, childrens'day, Ramakrishna Vivekananda day etc. The Kuravan Kurathi dance I did with my cousin in V standard annual day is something I cannot forget. I remember the whole song and dance even now.

I remember some Tamil poetry that we learnt and the basic mathematics. The very first Tamil poem that we learnt "Deve unnai potriduven! Dhinamum Ennai Kaaththiduvay! Naaval Unnai Naan ppaada Nalla Tamilai Thanthiduvay! " followed by "Vanakkam Teacher" is something that I can never forget.

History and Geography that I know now is not the result of the school education. In fact, school history did not even make me interested in that subject. I remember learning by heart the years associated with various wars. We were told that Gandhi and Nehru were great leaders - I was in VIII standard when India celebrated its 25th year of Independence. We danced a lot on various celebrations on songs composed on Gandhi and Nehru. Gandhi - non-violence and father of nation - that was what went into my head. Why father of nation - I did not think about it then. Nehru loved children and hence I thought that he must be a great man.

As a IV standard student I remember the joy and celebration that followed Man's first foot on Moon - we all sat near a radio and had our elders translate the commentary. I wonder whether I really understood the "bigness" or greatness of that event. It was an occasion that the whole small town of Sivaganga celebrated.

Think of Science - I remember drawing the diagram of beans growing - multiple stages - butterfly coming out of the worm - etc.. other than these, what do I know now? Whatever little science I know definitely is not the direct output of the school education. Is that what it is supposed to be? giving one direction and letting them work on it further, if they are interested. If that is what it is supposed to be, I think I got education.

Geography - we used to get one small box of colour pencils for 2 years to be shared between two of us. The blue colour used to be in great demand as we had to colour the ocean / sea in the maps. We found that if we press our fingers in a particular wavy motion on the freshly coloured paper, it will create a wave effect. That used to be fun. We used to religiously sit and create paper waves on the paper oceans on the paper map!!

I remember drawing the river from the sea to its origin...because that is the easiest way to remember a particular river and its course. My VIII standard teacher had stood behind me when I was drawing Narmada river. She held my hand and told me how could I imagine a river starting from the ocean and running inland? She was very angry with me for drawing it that way. I was quietly wondering - what difference it makes in a paper - I know now that things have to be done in the "right" way, though I could not understand then my mistake! I wonder why she did not explain my mistake and correct it. May be she over estimated my intelligence!!

I never understood where on earth we are and how we manage to stand, sit or walk when it is supposed to be rotating... I was scared to ask anyone these questions. I thought it will be stupid to ask things which everyone else seems to know. The fun is, I managed to get top marks in all subjects. I loved reciting the Tamil poems - it connected me to something that I do not know even now. Other than that, school work at school and at home was a mechanical thing - that which had to be done so that one day I can become someone useful and good. Have I?? Yes, to a large extent and NO as there are a lot more I am capable of doing but have not yet done!!


Monday, March 7, 2011

Growing up!!

Growing up amongst 4 more children is fun and tough at the same time. Each child has to undergo the "comparison"problem - each one is expected to be the best - and non-stop comparisons as to how good the other one is all that would greet you at every turn!

My elder sister - is a Saraswathi in person - nothing is difficult for her - no mathematics sum is too difficult - she does not need a teacher or a mentor or anybody - she grew up herself - all by herself - literally!! Everyone was in awe of her knowledge but somehow no one in particular was fond of her - may be because of her "buddhi". I am sure now, that everyone was in a way jealous of her - how can a small kid be so confident of herself? how can she be so independent? how can she be knowing everything without being told?? how can she be a leader without being told to lead??

She used to assemble all 4 of us with no difficulty at all - as a matter of fact, we 4 were only too happy to oblige her for no particular reason. We would simply obey her; do what was told; - a natural leader she is!

I followed her in school and in each class I had to put up with each and every teacher's remarks - "you are sister of so and so - hence, better behave yourself and be the topper in each subject"..somehow 100 out of 100 in mathematics eluded me always - I was always in the range of 95 to 98 out of 100. This was supposed to be too bad and each maths teacher made it a point to make me aware that I have no brains for mathematics!! All because, my sister could get 100% in each and every test, exam, call it whatever.


Naming!!

"Girl!! Girl again..."... that is the sound that must have greeted me on my arrival in this world. I am the second child, second daughter for my parents, who are brain-washed into believing that a son is a treasure to get and a daughter is alright - may be one - but not more!!

In fact, my mother herself was born after a lot of prayers to God by her grandmother and her mother for bestowing her parents with a daughter to carry the name of the Goddess of the family!!

In my case, I arrived within 30 months after my elder sister who was welcomed on her birth with so much happiness by the parents, and grand-parents - four of them - and all the uncles and aunts... everyone wanted the name chosen by them to be her name.. hence she got a combination of names selected by both the grand fathers - and I am absolutely sure that she is the only one in this world carrying this particular name! Of course, she lives up to the name!!

Coming back to my story, looks like no one bothered to think of a name for me. May be after a few days, when one of my grandfather's girl students peeped into the room where my mother was nursing me and asked my grandmother what baby it is - girl or boy - my grand mother told her in frustration that it is "a girl - just like you"... the name of that girl was given to me by my grandmother! Yeah, her name is Uma Maheswari and hence I got my name! How I wish she had a name like "Pi to the power of infinity" or something like that!! Thank my mother for not thinking of killing me quietly out of her frustration! Thanks for allowing me to grow and live in this world!

I grew up into one fat little kid - no fuss for eating anything - no childhood sickness - nothing for the mother to "worry " about me - so an easy case for getting neglected. I managed to get good number of nick-names for my looks... "gundu pooshanikai" "bablimas" etc. - all indicating the colour of my skin ( which is different from 99% of the people around me) and my healthy constitution.

I love my survivor status!!