My first infatuation was my IV standard teacher - Indira Teacher - she was tall; had long hair; spoke softly and our II standard teacher used to come to our class to talk to her. Later on I learnt that they both got married. I did not understand then what was happening between them. I liked this teacher a lot. I used to dream that one day I will also have long hair like her and walk like her carrying an umbrella and teach small children nice things - just the way she was doing it then for me. She used to be the permanent singer for all our dances in our school. Ours was one school which did not approve of cinema songs or recorded music for celebrations. Our teachers used to compose their own songs on various topics like nature, God, school, great people on different ragas. They will choreograph it and we were taught the song and dance. Some children would sing and others would dance.
I was fair in colour ( which is not normal in my area at least then) and was fat ( which again was abnormal) - hence I think I made a good " sight " on stage. Hence, I was always in the dance team. I think I danced well - or at least learnt faster than others - so I was always on the first row in the dance group. My cousin ( my opposite in looks) was always my partner. 99 out of 100 dances, I am the male dancer and my cousin the female!
Indira Teacher used to compose many songs and teach us. She used to compose songs on Ramakrishna Paramahamsa - using the raagam of the latest cine-song. So, children used to learn a more meaningful song but on the popular tune. How intelligent of her!
The next person whom I used to adore was ( is ) my aunt - Pinnamma - she again was a teacher. As I was in my grand parents' house right from the age of 3, I hardly remember my mother in my childhood memories. It is always my Pinnamma - who was unmarried then - and showed her love and affection to us. Hence, she was another person whom I adored and prayed that I should always live with her ( may be out of fear that her absence might expose me to some unknown dangers)... When the whole family was praying for her marriage, I used to silently pray to God that God should listen to me and not to them and keep her unmarried. My other aunts used to taunt me saying that my Pinnamma would leave me and go away with her husband when she gets married. This used to make me worried and scared. I remember the day she got married - I was in tears the whole day - I did not let anyone comb my hair - I think I behaved violent the first time that day not letting anyone touch me. Funnily, noone bothered also. They were all busy with the marriage proceedings and left me to my happy "open-hair" and angry crying state. But with all this anger and crying drama, I never left her. I am standing / sitting next to her - literally clinging to her in all the marriage photographs.
She really left me in Sivaganga and went away to Calcutta. I was clueless as to what I can do to stop this. She happily said her goodbye and went away! I survived! Yes, I enjoy my survivor status!
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